Tis the Season to be Italian?
by themusicalcat
Summary: It's Christmas time, also known as time for the Italian siblings to annoy Romano as much as possible! He's only irritated until a surprise cheers him up.


"Deck the halls with boughs of pasta, veveveveveveveveve~! Tis the season to be Italian, veveveveveveveveve~!"

Romano groaned and banged his head against the wall. "Shut up, fratello!"

If anything, Veneziano, skipping around the house, started singing louder. "Eat we now our seven fishes, veveveveveveveveve! Sing the ancient pizza carol, veveveveveveveveve!"

Romano groaned again. It wasn't that he hated Christmas. It just seemed like Christmas didn't like him. For one thing, he was pretty sure Santa didn't exist, and for another, everyone liked his siblings more than him. So, of course, they got all the good presents, and he got nothing.

"Fratellone?" a voice asked as its owner entered the room. The girl, who looked much like her relatives but shorter, tilted her head as she looked him up and down. "It's Christmas Eve, you know. Stop being sad."

"Sicily, you know I don't like Christmas! Fucking waste of time… San Nicola isn't real, and neither is la Befana!"

"Is that so?" Sicily smirked as an idea came to her, and she started singing, "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel! You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!"

"Hm? What did I miss?" Seborga asked as he walked in from the kitchen.

Italy, who had recognized the song, proceeded to join in. "You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. You're heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!"

By this point, Seborga had caught on as well, and the Italians sans Romano chorused, "You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given a choice between the two of you, I'd take the seasick crocodile!"

They surely would have continued, but Romano started banging his head against the wall and yelling profanities.

"Romano? What's wrong?" Seborga asked.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" the South Italian snapped as he stalked out of the room, leaving the other three blinking in confusion.

"Was it something I said, ve?" Italy Veneziano wondered aloud.

=^w^=

"Shipping through the night, GerIta and SpaMano, writing fluffy fanfics, shipping all the way! DenNor, SuFin, FrUK, RomBul and PruCan, who needs presents when we've got a world of fanfictions?! Hey!" a high-pitched voice trilled.

Romano glared intently at the...thing...sitting on his nightstand, playing what seemed to be a tiny guitar and singing. "The hell?"

"GerIta, SpaMano, and HongIce as well! I don't care if they don't approve, DENNORILY ALL THE WAY! Hey!"

Romano was lost for words for a full minute as he stared as the three-inch tall girl with wings and bright red hair. Eventually, he decided a simple "What the fuck are you and why are you in my room singing about pairings?!" was in order.

"I'm a fairy! What did you think I was, oh wise monk?" came the shrill reply.

"Fairies don't even exist!" Romano insisted as he grabbed a flyswatter and attempted to swat her.

The fairy neatly dodged, a pout on her face, and complained, "I do too exist! And it's rude to try to kill people!"

"How long have you even been here?!"

"Well, if you mean _here _here, about five minutes. If you mean here as in _here_-" she gestured around the room, apparently indicating the house, "since the unification of Italy, when Sicily joined the Italian Republic!"

Romano simply stared. "Che cavolo…" After a moment, he shook himself and chucked the flyswatter at the - Sicily's?- fairy.

"IT'S NOT NICE TO TRY TO KILL YOUR SISTER'S FAIRY!" she screeched as she dodged again.

"Damn you!" he shouted.

"Sicilyyyyyy Roma-toma's being mean!" the fairy loudly complained, flying out the door that he was certain he had closed.

"Are you really surprised, Fia?" Sicily replied from just outside his room. "He's Romano, and he's in a grinchy mood."

"Shut the fuck up or I will go all mafia on your ass…" Romano hissed as he strode to the door.

She gave him a flat look and inquired, "Have you forgotten that I created the mafia?" Without giving him time to interrupt, she continued, "You should come outside."

"Why?"

"Because. You said San Nicola isn't real, right?" With that, she turned and left.

Eventually, curiosity overpowered annoyance, and Romano followed his siblings outside, and they all stared upwards, waiting.

"He'll be here soon, right?" Veneziano let out a soft "ve".

"He's going to come even though we're not sleeping?" Seborga asked.

"Just wait," Sicily murmured.

About half an hour later, South Italy had had enough of waiting for someone that was never going to show up. "That's it, I'm going to bed!" he announced, greatly irritated. To his surprise, his brothers grabbed his arms and made frantic gestures to be quiet. To his amazement, he heard what they were excited about: sleigh bells.

"Here he comes!" whispered Veneziano, pointing to the sky, where there was a sleigh, pulled by actual flying reindeer. And it was coming straight toward them. In mere moments, the sleigh and its team of thirteen reindeer had landed in front of them.

The man in the sleigh jumped out and cried with a Finnish accent, "Merry Christmas!"

"Babbo Natale?" Seborga asked, almost disbelievingly, while Veneziano danced around, singing, "It's Santa, it's Santa!"

Romano, trying to make sense of what he saw, mumbled, "But he's blonde… And he doesn't have a beard… He's not even fucking old!"

"Would it help if I wore a beard? I don't know, I thought it looked a little silly," Finland replied. "Anyway, I brought presents for you all!" Seeing the South Italian snort and begin walking away, he called, "Romano, don't you want your present?"

Romano stopped dead in his tracks. "A...present? For me?"

"Of course!"

Romano stared in wonder as Finland, or "Santa", pulled a box, red with a green bow, from a large bag in his sleigh. As he took it and saw the tag reading "To: Romano", he thought he might cry. He barely even noticed as Finland gave the other Italians their gifts, hopped back into his sleigh, and flew off with a "Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta!"

"Earth to Romano, come in Romano… Are you there?" Sicily teased.

"Oh, shut up," he replied in an uncharacteristically cheerful tone.

"Romano's happy on Christmas!" North Italy cheered.

Of course, though each got a gift from Finland, there were many more under the Christmas tree, including no fewer than five more for Romano. He was overjoyed; that was more presents than he had gotten in his life. He just wondered, _why?_

_And why were Seborga and Sicily smiling and whispering like they knew something he didn't?_

* * *

><p><em>AN: So… This was pretty random. Guess I've got some explaining to do~ The "seven fishes" thing was a reference to how Christmas Eve in Italy is Eve of the Seven Fishes. La Befana is a witch that brings presents to kids that are good and coal to bad kids… Like Santa, but on January 5...or something like that. And San Nicola is Saint Nicholas...aka Santa. And Babbo Natale is Father Christmas. Oh, and "che cavolo" literally means "what cabbage" in Italian but is used like "what the ****", and "__Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta" is Finnish for Merry Christmas and Happy New Year._

*randomly flies in thanks to Fia* ...I… I still don't understand. ;w; Why do they call it Eve of the Seven Fishes? dO YOU EAT LOTS O' FISH?

_Yes, actually. By the way, this is MuddyBuddyPancakes, who is a lovely person and edited this for me._

...Coolio. xD Wait- what? "Edit" is such a poor choice for a word. It's more like… "who is a lovely piece of toast and read this for me and laughed the whole time and kept making weird comments on it because it's about amazing Christmas-ness." That totally makes 1000% sense.

_Oh, hush, you~ It was more for peace of mind than anything else._

Awe, I'm glad I could give you a piece of your mind back! *coughs* I mean- *cereal face* It was a lovely story. uwu

_Aww, thank you ouo /whispersyoustillhaven'tgivenmyheartbackyoulittlethief_

y-yOUCAN'THAVEIT. *runs away into the fireplace and goes up the chimney to get in Finl- uh, Santa's sleigh*

_Whelp, looks like I've gotta go chase her down… Anyway, review, per favore? Favorite if __you like, and if anyone wants to request a one-shot or anything, shoot me a PM or just review~ Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!_


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